today, everything felt so wrong :(
was alr late to meet nat and i was penniless
so on my way to the mrt at the escalator i saw an ahma walking over to the staircase which i dk why
so i ignore thinking that maybe she wna stand at one side and wait for someone
so i ran to the atm machine right in front
while Q-ing my mom called me so i answered and bla bla bla
and i was looking in the escalator direction and the ahma walk up the heading down escalator and oh fuck she was pushed backwards and fell on her back
i immed kup the phone and ran over at my full speed!
at that time there was another middle aged uncle who helped the ahma up so i stand by and loook and assit her to the correct escalator
that was all i can do
i shld just ask her where she's heading in the first place why did i bother about being late
arghhhhhh
really felt like a bitch it's totally my fault! for sure! i am the cause of this
if i helped her she wouldnt have fall
yknow, the aged cant fall like that!

argh
this reminds me of my ah gong when he fell backwards on the escalator
and those sharp edgings on the escalator scatched his whole back
fuck why wasnt i filial to him
why ppl regret only when they cant do anything to salvage the situation
sometimes i felt that it seems like ytd that my ah gong is still here with me and now today, w/o him, everything feels so surreal.....