I'm.so.tired.of.living.

Why am i so ugly, really whyyyy arh? Why ah why? my brother so goodlooking then i look so terrible, like some trash. I must have been picked up from the garbage bin!!! I really hate my life, sucks to be me. Tired of living already.... why are ppl constantly telling me i have long face, sigh i have no control over that....srsly. i can only go for plastic surgery to change it! But i have no financial ability to go for that.. Ugh everytime when ppl pass casual remark like this, i hope that i can teleport away from the situation.. Really dk how to react... Or maybe i should wear a mask out everyday. Sometimes i thought to myself "i shld've been immune to these remarks by now.." All my friends shld be sick of my nonsense already, like aft they comfort me for a certain moment another person start talking abt it agn and i go all depressed over again.. Sigh i dont know what to do too. Maybe i should hide my face from the world, noo, universe and live my life alone. i dont want to meet any ppl, i dont wna go out of the house and let the world see me, i jus wna rot at home and die. Let me die faster pls.. take my number of years away and give it to ppl who can cherish it more.

Today is the first day i started using the table i used to use it when i was studying for my Os. Those were the times my grandpa will help me with the table and chairs set-up. Sometimes i wish he wont be on my mind all the times when i do small little. Thinking of him doesn't hurts, but knowing that he is no longer here, that feeling is painful.

sighhh
why ppl like that one?
out of nowhere, out of nothing they will criticise /mock / tease about my appearance. Not like i dont have a mirror at home right. Why must they rub it in? Sometimes i tried so hard not to be affected by it already yknw, i watch motivational videos all the times, videos about how I'm so much more fortunate than people and all and all. But why, WHY must ppl do that to me? Srsly, out of nothing leh, i did nth, haven even say anything, they started criticising me about my jaw already.. I really really know how bad i look yknw. Seeing myself everyday in the mirror can also makes me feel sick of it. I really CANT do anything about it.... So cut me some slack. Im so tired of reflecting why are people doing this to me. Ugh another thing, yeah la i cant get a bf and will probably never get a bf. thats a good thing what, one children to suffer from my ugly features. So that's that, bye.