WTF
PPL KNOW HOW MUCH I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE MY TRAGUS PIERCED. OMG NOW THAT I GOT IT I MEAN LIKE PROBABLY 1 MONTH AGO. YET I ALWAYS FACED PROBLEMS LIKE SUTFFING MY EARPIECE IN ETC. SO I WILL ALWAYS TAKE THE EARRING OUT AND EACH TIME AM REALLY CHALLENGING MYSELF TO POKE IT BACK. YTD I DID THAT TOO AND SPENT 15MINS TO FIND THE EXACT HOLE. BUT TODAY I WOKE UP FINDING THE EARRING ON MY BED. CFM THERE FOR A VERY LONG TIME. SO AFRAID COS YTD HAVE SUCH TOUGH TIME PUTTING IT BACK THAT I EVEN TOLD MYSELF NOT GNA TAKE IT OUT FOR A WEEK OR SO FIRST. NOW I REALLY CANT POKE IT BACK ANYMORE!! OMG SHIT SIA MAYBE JSUT GNA WAIT FOR IT TO CLOSE AND PIERCE AGN WTF ILL FATED LIFE YEA??

HELLO YTD I WAS BACK FROM CAMP.

in fact i had to say i'm a reserved and not an initiative person. So when i went for the camp on th second day, night, when i was received by the overwhelming cheers and hugs from my grp members. Nearly cried cos i was too shocked by their response. The following day i didnt much did the cheers (mumble the words and did no actions) so one of the members told me to do the actions too. one reasons why i didnt do that was because i actually dk and that am quite shy doing these movements. But later on in the noon/evening i was totally high up doing all the cheers and movements. What i wanted to say is that the camp made me a more sociable and extrovert person cos today i finally added the first fb person which is one of my grpmates. Even though they wouldnt read this, i want to apologise, am terribly sorry. Most of the time i kept talking to veron and went round looking for her, getting my grp neglected. i dont know how to express this guilty feeling of mine but even till ytd when everything ended i went to look for veron after i see them walked away thinking that all of them parted ways. Ended up all of them had a de-brief and emotional goodbye. Felt like a bitch always making them search for me and me being so not cooperative all times. Also wanted to say that i nv know i will miss you guys and camp so much after i left. Now doing all the cheers in front of the mirror like a retard :(

Oh ya!! recently idk why there's a few classmates calling me. I didnt pick them up cos am actually quite reserved to do that, terribly afraid that conversation will ended in awkwardness since i dont always image myself as a significant person to others so i dont think ppl will come looking for me. I'll have the mindset that the most possible reason why they rang me up is that they got the contacts wrong. Idk why i have this mentality, it deems me such anti social person? :( Thinking of that, i start to ask myself whether am i really one affable person. Or can i be affable yet reserved at the same time?

Occasionally when am at work, i will see one ah ma walking past the shop in the evening. She's all tanned and thin. Nevertheless, she is always carrying big plastic bags that seems gg to tear anytime. Always at time moment, i hope i can dash out of the shop and stuff her with some money. Such heart rending scene..

I dk who i heard this from or when was it but it came flashing in my mind recently, suddenly.
"Wo lian huo zai zhe ge shi jie dou gan, na li hai pa si."
Roughly translated:
"I'm not even afraid to live in this world, what's more, to die."

Indeed, tough earning yourself one more day in the world.